Monday, November 7, 2016

Josh's YAGM Experience

Black and White. Good and Bad. Saint and Sinner. Sacred and Secular. Clean and Dirty. Right and Wrong.

The world presents us with dichotomies we must choose. They help us to conceptualize things, to understand the world around us. But, these dichotomies are often harmful.

During college, I was presented with a dichotomy that work for God can either be evangelistic to “save souls”, or focused on justice to transform the world.

While the two can and should work together, I was often made to think that ministry was one or the other. And more often than not, I was made to believe, and occasionally told explicitly, that the work of “saving souls” took precedence over all other ministry.

It was a dichotomy that bothered because I felt a yearning to work for justice, but experienced a pressure that all ministry should somehow lead to an alter call or a prayer of acceptance of faith. It felt like I had to enter all ministry with an ulterior motive. Carrying this motive left me feeling more like a used car salesman than a bearer of good news.[1]

My experience as a Young Adult in Global Mission provided me with the opportunity to do ministry in a way that existed outside of this dichotomy. It allowed me to listen to the voice in my heart to work for justice, and to do so in context of God’s mission to the world, realizing that God’s new creation isn’t just a future hope for the after life, but something that was set in motion with the death and resurrection of Christ and something that we have a part in Here and Now.




Young Adults in Global Mission is a year long service program for young adults in their 20s. Participants live and serve in ten different countries around the world and practice an accompaniment model of missionary work

Accompaniment is walking together in a solidarity that practices interdependence and mutuality.

In practice this meant that I did not go to Mexico to change people. I was there to learn from others, and to work alongside others. I was there to fall in love with Mexico. I was there to recognize that each person possesses gifts to support God’s Kin-dom.[2]

While, I may have incidentally taught someone with my words along the way, my greater hope is that I have shown others that U.S. citizens are no different than them – no happier, no smarter, no better. I hope I have shown them that we are equals, and that I have learned so much from them. I hope that I have been a subtle correction to the centuries-old conquistador mold in which colonists, neo-colonists and transnational corporations have plundered Mexico of resources, sovereignty and dignity. Above all, I know that the relationships that I took part in were full of meaning and love. These relationships were God-honoring and life-giving.




My YAGM year in Mexico had two main components: life with my host family and service at my work site.

After a week of orientation to YAGM in Chicago, and three weeks in Mexico, I arrived to Tlaxcala on September 15. Just in time to participate in Mexico’s Day of Independence celebrations. My Mexican host family welcomed me with open arms from day one

Mamá Oliva immediately began to call me “hijo” and “niño Josh” and the family treated me as one of their own.

They cooked incredible meals for me: mole, chilaquiles, memelas, tamales, tacos, pipian, and more. I would eat until I couldn’t eat anymore and the family would still egg me to keep eating.  My Tía Norma frequently said “¿porque no comes? Why don’t you eat?”

The family took me to local ruins, museums and hot springs. They shared their best tequila and mezcal with me. They brought me along to the market and introduced me to a variety of Mexican traditions. They blessed me with the opportunity to be a part of their daily lives. Their love and acceptance gave me life.




In addition to my family life in Mexico, I worked at a shelter for migrants traveling from Central America through Mexico in route to various Mexican cities, and for many, ultimately the United States.

This shelter was located beside the train tracks that connect Veracruz and Mexico City. The majority of visitors in the shelter are riding on top of and between cargo trains that run along this line. When they pass the shelter, they jump off the train and come stay with us for up to 48 hours. In the shelter, we provide basic necessities like food, clothing, medical care, and a bed to sleep on. About 95% of the visitors in the shelter are men. There are also some women and families, and some trans individuals.

My job in the shelter consisted of helping cook and clean. I also welcomed new arrivals to the shelter and registered them in our database. I took care of the rabbits, chickens and turkeys we had on site. And, I talked to a number of guests in the shelter, and heard some of their stories: the reasons they left their country, the things they experienced on the migrant trail, their hopes for the future.




Before traveling to Mexico, I had thought little about immigration. Immigration had always been a distant political issue that did not bother me. The September day that I arrived to the shelter quickly changed that. First, I noticed that one young man looked identical to a friend of mine from Texas. Then, I saw another young guy sporting a Texas State University hat – a state school located less than thirty minutes from my home in Texas. Then, I met Franklin, or Franky as we called him in shelter.

Franky approached me. He knew that I looked out of place in this shelter, and in English asked me, “where are you from?”

As soon as I said “San Antonio.” He began talking to me about the Spurs (San Antonio’s NBA basketball team) and our recent acquisition of Lamarcus Aldridge.

We then talked about local places we had both been to like Canyon Lake and the San Marcos River.

Franky then began to tell me his story.

Franky is from Honduras. When he was fourteen years old, he was struck by a stray bullet from a nearby gang fight. Franky was not seriously injured, but the incident was taken seriously by Franky’s father. Franky’s dad, who was living and working in the U.S., made arrangements for him to be brought to the States. Franky did not want to go; his whole life and his family were in Honduras. But, he felt obliged to follow his dad’s request. So, he soon traveled to the U.S. with a smuggler.

Franky made it across the border and moved in with his dad in Iowa. He enrolled in High School for two years before beginning to work. Eventually, Franky moved to San Antonio, where he began to work as a landscaper. He fell in love and had a son.

On July 4th of 2014, Franky’s future would take a turn. Franky was swept up in the excitement of Independence Day celebrations, and began drinking with friends. While driving to the store to purchase more alcohol, Franky was pulled over and arrested for driving under the influence. He spent the next two months in a detention center before being sent back to Honduras.

During the year since his deportation, Franky had been in Honduras working and saving money to make another trip north. Franky would talk to his son on the phone, but it was tough. His 8-year old son would ask, “Dad, where are you? Where did you go?” Franky tried to explain the reality of the situation. He was not legally permitted to reside in the United States and he had made a big mistake. But, it was hard to explain. Franky longed to be back with his son, so that he could care for him when he is sick, help him with his homework, kiss him goodnight.[3]




My interaction with Franky made me realize that immigration was not just a distant political issue, but rather something that affected me on a personal level. I realized that immigrants – both those with and without documents– are my literal neighbors in the US.

As the year went on, I learned more about my privilege and more about the complex set of economic, political and security factors that prompts Central Americans to leave their countries

My tattoos started many conversations. Many men in the shelter were interested in them and asked me about them. A number of guys shared that they could not wear tattoos in their countries because only the gangs wore tattoos. They shared that they hoped to start a new life in the US and maybe get a tattoo there one day. Other men had already spent years living in the US before deportation and had tattoos of their own.

Another way that I learned was through the process of registering new arrivals in the shelter. While registering new arrivals, I asked a series of questions for our database. One of these questions was plainly “Why are you traveling?”

Common answers were “poverty”, “the economy”, “to get ahead in life”, “lack of jobs in my country”, “to give my family a better future”, “to flee the gangs”, “delincuency”, “necessity.”

Most migrants left their homes for a number of reasons: gang violence, economic reasons, reunification with family already in the US. Unfortunately, though, very few of the people that I met have adequate grounds to claim asylum. To claim asylum, one must prove that one fears returning to one’s home nation on the grounds that one will be persecuted on account of race, religion, nationality, political opinion or membership in a social group. Neither gang violence nor economic necessity fit nicely into these categories. Thus, for many immigrants, living in the US without documents is a better option than working through the long and tiresome bureaucratic process that is more likely to end in deportation than asylum.

Undocumented immigrants are frequently abused and mistreated in the US. However, they are often among the most noble and brave people I have met.

The story of one migrant I met named Josué can illuminate this. Josué had just been laid off of his job working as a bread delivery man for Bimbo. The next day local gangsters found out that he was unemployed and asked him to work for them. He didn’t want to work for the gangs and didn’t want to reject them, which would put his and his family’s life in danger. He stood up for his morals and resisted violence by fleeing his country. He made a huge sacrifice to leave his family and former life behind.
Upon his arrival in the US, he will work and save money in hopes to achieve the Sueño Americano, or American Dream, which for many Central Americans is saving enough money to send for their family members to join them in the United States




At the beginning of February, my group of YAGM Mexico volunteers and I headed to the US-Mexico border in Arizona to learn about immigration, border enforcement and the lives of citizens and service workers on both sides of the border.

We visited various non-profits, the mayor of the border town Douglas, AZ, border patrol and a court that mass-sentences undocumented immigrants called Operation Streamline. At this court, illegal entrants are mass-processed and deported. At the Tucson branch of Operation Streamline, up to 70 people are sentenced a day during a trial that lasts less than an hour. In Del Rio, TX up to twice as many are sentenced and deported each day. Operation Streamline began in the mid-2000s when the US decided to start prosecuting illegal entry as a criminal offense. The rationale was likely to provide a further deterrent to undocumented immigration. The greater effect of this court, though, has been to undermine due process of these defendants and expand the private prison complex in the US.[4]

As I witnessed Operation Streamline, I began to see connections between the imprisonment of latino immigrants and the mass incarceration of US citizens, specifically young black men. I began to read Michelle Alexander’s “The New Jim Crow,” Bryan Stevenson’s “Just Mercy” and other works. I learned that many black men and poor defendants are also denied due process, and are dealt long-sentences that do not do restorative justice. I learned that the War on Drugs has provided our nation with an excuse to disproportionately arrest, imprison and felonize minorities. I became perplexed as I realized that our nation is fighting a war on drugs and a war on illegal immigrants. These wars are one-sided. Wars in which we have created the “enemy.” And more often than not, the enemy is a minority, is poor, and is often a foreigner.

I realized that we have not been faithful to the words on which our nation is built, “We hold these truths to be self-evident; that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.”

I realized that our ancestors were also once poor, minorities and foreigners.

I realized that we have not been faithful to the words of our faith. Our scriptures tell stories of migrants and refugees. Israel’s exile in Egypt, baby Jesus’ search for refuge while Harod slaughtered innocent young males, and Yahweh’s commandments to love the foreigner, the poor, the imprisoned. I pray that we will see that these stories weren’t just the history of a distant people, but are rather living exhortations to us today.




The way forward is not clear. In the midst of such injustice, it is easy to give up hope. We are sometimes tempted to think that the work of bringing justice to the world should be left for Christ’s return while we focus on our personal spiritual lives now. But, New Testament Theologian, NT Wright shares “The power of the Gospel lies not in the offer of a new spirituality or religious experience, not in the threat of hellfire…, which can be removed only if the hearer checks this box, says this prayer, raises a hand, or whatever, but [rather the power of the Gospel lies] in the powerful announcement that God is God, that Jesus is Lord, that the powers of evil have been defeated, that God’s new world has begun” (Surprised By Hope, p.227).

Working for God’s new creation, God’s kin-dom begins with taking an honest assessment of the world as it is. A world full of Narcos, violence, slavery, greedy financial advisers and CEOs, corrupt politicians, and systemic sin. It involves not shying away from these things, but observing them and recognizing our own role in them.

As my volunteer friend Alyssa shared, “We cannot fight that captivity to sin if we do not first confess it. If we do not first look critically at the institutions in which we live. If we do not acknowledge that oppressive systems exist and we (people of the global north) benefit from that oppression. "...we confess we are captive to sin and cannot free ourselves." When we join our voices together and acknowledge the broken systems and the sin in our world, we can begin the work of liberation and grace. The work of accompaniment and solidarity. The work of listening and the work of a holy and healing presence with one another.” 

This work of accompaniment and solidarity, liberation and grace is then carried out in each of our lives. One does not have to move to Mexico or around the world as a missionary to begin to take part in this work. Rather, this work is carried out in each of our vocations, whether you are a lawyer, a doctor, a teacher, a social worker, a janitor, a financial advisor, an artists or a pastor. NT Wright shares “every act of love, gratitude and kindness; every work of art of music inspired by the love of God and delight in the beauty of his creation; every minute spend teaching a severely handicapped child to read or to walk; every act of care and nurture, of comfort and support, for one’s fellow human beings and… one’s fellow nonhuman creatures; [every] prayer, all Spirit-led teaching, every deed that spreads the Gospel, builds up the church, embraces and embodies holiness rather than corruption, and makes the name of Jesus honored in the world - - - all of this will find its way, through the resurrecting power of God, into the new creation that God will one day make” (Surprised By Hope). Amen.


[1] This is a paraphrase from a line of Shane Claiborne’s in his book The Irresistible Revolution.
[2] By using the word “kin-dom,” I leave out the imperial and dominating connotations of “kingdom,” and I recognize that we are all children of God’s growing family, which is made up of all kinds of people from all around the globe.
[3] You can read about Franky’s story in my blog post “My Neighbor is a Migrant

[4] Read more about Operation Streamline and mass incarceration in the United States in my blog post “CRIMINAL inJUSTICE.”

Thursday, September 8, 2016

Departing Shot // Foto de Partida




It is hard to believe that two months have passed since I departed Mexico. As I remember my time in Mexico, I want to share this photograph and memory from my departing flight… As we rose through the clouds a few minutes into the flight, the view cleared and Popocatépetl and Iztaccihuatl were revealed looming over the valley central Mexico. I admired their tall, stark features. As they began to leave my view and seemed to meld into one, my beloved Malinche appeared. [Photo shows Malinche on left, Popo and Izta merged on right.] Her features, which I had come to know during two climbs, were clearly visible. I knew my Tlaxcala and Apizaco lay below at her feet. Then, I saw the lake near Tlaxco - the home of my friend Alyssa – and just after appeared La Peña, a prominence in the mountains surrounding Tlaxco. In the distance, Pico de Orizaba stood clear and mighty, reminding us all that it is the highest peak in Mexico. Here began the mountains of Puebla near Chignahuapan and Zacatlán. They began small and smooth and then turned high and rugged, falling into drastic river-ridden ravines. We traveled through the Sierra Norte of Puebla, the beloved home of my friend Hannah, and on to unfamiliar territory. The landscape took my breath away. Finally, this stunning display eluded me as we rose above a solid white blanket of clouds. I was content. My eyes had seen incredible beauty and my heart was filled with pride and love for my Mexican home. My departure leaves me sad, but this incredible despedida was a reminder that I will be back.



Es difícil creer que ya pasaron dos meces desde salí de México. Por lo recurdo de mi tiempo en México, quiero compartir esta fotografía y la memoria de mi vuelo de salida… Unos minutos después del comienzo de vuelo, estabamos levantando a través de las nubes cuando la vista se aclaró y Popocatépetl y el Iztaccíhuatl fueron revelados cierne sobre el valle central de México. Admiré sus características altas y definidas. Empezaban salir de mi vista y parecían fundirse en una sola montaña cuando apareció mi amada Malinche. [La fotografía muestra la Malinche a la izquierda, Popo y Izta unidas a la derecha.] Sus características, que había llegado a conocer durante dos subidas, eran claramente visibles. Yo sabía que mi Apizaco y Tlaxcala estaban abajo. Entonces, vi el lago cerca de Tlaxco – el pueblo de mi amiga Alyssa - y justo después, vi la aparición de La Peña, una prominencia en las montañas alrededores de Tlaxco. De lejos, vi el Pico de Orizaba. Se quedó clara y poderosa, recordando a tod@s que es el pico más alto de México. Aquí empezó la sierra de Puebla cerca de Chignahuapan y Zacatlán. Comenzaron pequeña y suave y luego se volvieron alto y robusto, cayendo en barrancos con ríos fuertes. Viajamos a través de la Sierra Norte de Puebla, el querido hogar de mi amiga Hannah, y luego a través de un territorio desconocido. El paisaje me asombró. Por último, esta impresionante vista se me escapaba a medida que se elevaba por encima de un sólido blanco manto de nubes. Yo estaba contento. Mis ojos habían visto increíble belleza y mi corazón se llenó de orgullo y amor por mi casa Mexicana. Mi partida me deja triste, pero esta increíble despedida fue un recordatorio de que un día regresaré.

Saturday, August 6, 2016

Memories // Recuerdos

This year has moved and touched me in ways that I would have never expected. I learned to love new people, new places and a new culture, and be loved by new people. I learned to see divine in the ordinary, and beauty in unexpected places. I saw pain and injustice, but also the resiliency of humankind and the strength of people fighting for justice. I gained a love for Mexico and a new appreciation for the United States. I was welcomed with open arms in Mexico, and as a result, I gained new family and close friends. I am tremendously grateful for the people that helped send me to Mexico and supported me throughout the year. I am equally as grateful for the people in Mexico who loved me and made this experience such a rich, life-giving year. Love to all of you whether in Central America, Mexico, the U.S. or Canada.

The following contains events – both one-time events and recurring events – that stick out to me from my year in Mexico. Memories, emotions and senses – both beautiful and displeasing – that taught me and defined my time in Mexico…

hearing so many different beautiful greetings and variations of my name

         Gustavo: “Jeoooooooorgshhh!!!”

         Cristian: “¿Que pedo, Yosh?... Mucho pedo, Yosh?”

         Gema: “Hola Yeshua”

         Mamá Oliva: “Niño Josh”

         Norma: “¿Donde andas, Joshua? ¿Porque tan tarde?... Ay, Joshua”

feeling of contentment as I eat pan dulce and drink café with la familia

not knowing what to feel as I clean and change Gustavo’s gunshot wound after he was randomly shot by local police while riding the train northward

mourning with la familia on new year’s eve as we reflect on the shortness and preciousness of life

bursting out in laughter with Catherine as we watch Luis sing alongside mariachis as if he were part of the group at Karla and Annie’s fiesta

sobering feeling as Gustavo tells us shelter staff that we are his first real friends – the first people that have not used him for money or other ulterior motives to get ahead in life

feeling peace, love and contentment as I eat almuerzo of memelas, tamales and tacos with la familia on calm Saturday and Sunday mornings

Mamá Oliva making cecina & memelas //
Mamá Oliva preparando cecina y memelas
anger of finding out that Mexican immigration agents entered the safe zone around the shelter to detain a migrant…

rage of finding out that they proceeded to beat up the migrant and throw him out on the side of a road

feeling like shit when I tell Enrique y Jorge that I cannot help them out with the $600 it would cost to get from Piedras Negras, Mexico to the U.S….

sinking feeling when I find out that Enrique has not heard from his son Jorge since Jorge tried to cross from Mexico into Texas three days before…

dread when a month passes and we still haven’t heard from Jorge…

relief and gratitude when, over two months after his disappearance, I learn that Jorge is alive in an ICE detention center in California

tap of the bus attendant, waking me up to ask for the $18 bus fare to Apizaco on my way to work…

voice of bus attendant, waking me up to ask for the $18 bus fare to Tlaxcala on way home

recognizing the beauty of a life lived simply as I taste my first pulque on a ranch filled chickens and cows, as I visit Jaqi’s family in Aquixtla and drink pulque

Caminata en Tlaxco con mis amig@s  // Hike in Tlaxco with friends
anger at Mexican man who asks me why I am not sleeping with Mexican women

he says “they would love a piece of white man”…

sobering feeling when he shares that “Mexican people are racist against themselves”…

“Mexican people are brainwashed to believe that white skin and blonde hair means happiness, beauty and wealth…”

recognition that nearly everyone on television and in movies in Mexico is white

giddy feeling of buying two scoops of ice-cream for only ten pesos

hearing the gas truck wake me up each morning with its blaring horn and advertisement, “gas central de Apizaco… el gas que rinde más!”

hearing Tío Noe egg me on to ride the really tall and steep slide at El Rollo (waterpark) for a fourth time…

turning teasing right back on Tío Noé, who hadn’t ridden the slide once

listening to man migrating talk on phone to daughter as she cries and asks “when will you be coming home, Dad?”

hearing the tamale man walk up and down the streets of Apizaco each morning yelling, “tamales, atole…”

sinking feeling of learning that Ángel (our loving volunteer nurse in the shelter) passed away at the young age of 29

feeling emotional as I realize that Karina – who was not being paid at the time because of dwindling shelter funds – generously used her own money to buy tortas for the 90 people in the shelter when we ran out of food

tasting the flavors of longaniza, suadero, nopales, cebolla, pico de gallo, salsa verde, and salsa roja blend together as I eat campechano tacos with my friends John, Kari and Jaqi …

making sure that everyone else at the taco stand knew that I believe Marco, Sebastian and Josefina’s tacos are the best tacos in the world

watching romantic movies on Netflix with Mamá Oliva in the evening

admiring the tall trees, vendors and peaceful atmosphere as I walk through the Zócalo of Tlaxcala

Tlaxcala con las Jacarandas // Tlaxcala with the Jacaranda Trees
admiring the beauty and history of Tlaxcala spread below me as I stand at the top of the steps overlooking the city

reflecting on the sound of cicadas and crickets in Texas, remembering the beautiful mountain trails in Colorado, and admiring the present beauty around me as I run through the bosque in Tlaxcala

hearing Don Facundo’s loud voice as he announced the prices of his fruit in the market…

feeling the love of Don Facundo’s big smile and hearty laugh each Wednesday that we visited the market
 
Market Scene // Escena en el Mercado
hearing the whistle of the express pot pressure-cooking beans

hearing the lady selling gelatina ask me “¿vas a chambear, güero?” each morning as I entered the bus station in Tlaxcala

seeing the masculine-centered language of the Bible become much more noticeable to me in Spanish when “Lord” is translated to “Señor”

listening to the deep, rich voice of our Apizaco taxi driver give us a private concert after I ask him about his Mariachi and Norteño singing

feeling the warm embrace of my sister Annie as she hugs me

hearing Tío Socrates attempt English as he leaves the house, saying “See you tomorrow!” or “See you later!”


All these memories and emotions from my home life and work site in Mexico blend together for me. They are all defining moments of joy, sorrow, anger, love, peace, or beauty that touched me this year. In one way or another, each of these recuerdos is profound and sacred.

I will miss these moments, events and memories, and more so, the people that made each of these memories and so many others. I mourn not being with these friends, familia and loved ones. It is for these reasons that I omitted the concreteness of periods and the capital letters that follow periods. Leaving out this definiteness serves as a balm as I come to terms with the fact that this year and experience has ended. It also resembles the way in which these experiences bleed into one another and into my life after my time as a Young Adult in Global Mission. These moments have changed and shaped me. These are the memories, the tastes, smells, sounds, sights, and feelings that I will carry with me long after my time in Mexico has ended. These are the moments that will live on forever.

 
Making Pan de Puerto with friends // Haciendo Pan de Muerto con amigos

Este año me ha movido y tocado en una manera que nunca habría esperado. Aprendí a amar a nueva gente, nuevos lugares y una nueva cultura, y ser amado por gente nueva. Aprendí a ver la divina en lo ordinario, y la belleza en lugares inesperados. Vi el dolor y la injusticia, sino también la capacidad de recuperación de la humanidad y la fuerza de la gente que lucha por la justicia. Gané un amor por México y una nueva apreciación de los Estados Unidos. Me recibieron con los brazos abiertos en México, y como resultado, gané nueva familia y amigos cercanos. Estoy tremendamente agradecido por la gente que me ayudó a ir por México y me ha apoyado durante todo el año. Estoy igualmente agradecido por la gente en México que me amó y me dió un año de experiencias ricas, un año de vida en su sentido más grande. Mando amor para todos ustedes en Centroamérica, México, EE.UU. y Canadá.

Lo siguiente contiene eventos – unos que pasó una vez y otras que son periódicos – que fueron importantes durante mi tiempo en México. Son recuerdos, emociones y sentidos – ambos bellos y desagradables – que me enseñaron y determinaron mi tiempo en México.

escuchar tantos diferentes hermosos saludos y variaciones de mi nombre

Gustavo: “Jeoooooooorgshhh!!!”

         Cristian: “¿Que pedo, Yosh?... Mucho pedo, Yosh?”

         Gema: “Hola Yeshua”

         Mamá Oliva: “Niño Josh”

         Norma: “¿Donde andas, Joshua? ¿Porque tan tarde?... Ay, Joshua”

sensación de satisfacción cuando como pan dulce y bebo café con la familia

sin saber que pienso cuando limpio y cambio la herida de bala de Gustavo después de que le dispararon la policía local mientras viajó en el tren hacia el norte

lamentar con la familia en la víspera de año nuevo al reflexionar sobre la brevedad y el valor de la vida

sonreir con Catherine mientras vimos a Luis escucha al lado de los mariachis como sea parte del grupo durante la fiesta de Annie y Karla

sensación humillante cuando Gustavo nos dice el personal del refugio que somos sus primeros amigos verdaderos - las primeras personas que no lo han utilizado por dinero u otros motivos ocultos para sacar adelante en la vida

sentimientos de paz, amor y satisfacción cuando como un almuerzo de memelas, tamales y tacos con la familia en los Sábados y Domingos tranquilos

el enojo cuando descubro que la migra Mexicana entró la zona segura alrededor del albergue para detener un migrante…

el furor de descubrir que siguieron a golpear el migrante y tirarlo en el lado de la calle

sentimiento feo cuando les digo a Enrique y Jorge que no puedo ayudarles con la cuota de $600 dolares estadounidenses para cruzar de Piedras Negras, México al gobacho…

sentimiento de desesperación cuando descubro que Enrique no ha esuchado de su hijo desde Jorge intentó cruzar la frontera por Texas hace tres días…

el pavor cuando pasa un mes y todavía no hemos escuchado del Jorge…

alivio y gratitude cuando después de dos meses desde su desaparación, apriendo que Jorge está vivo en un centro de detención en California

la toca del ayudante del bus para despertarme para los 18 pesos para mi camino a Apizaco de ida a trabajo…

la toca del ayudante del bus para despertarme para los 18 pesos para mi camino de regreso a Tlaxcala después de trabajar

reconocer la belleza de una vida simple cuando pruebo el pulque en un rancho con gallos y vacas, y cuando visito la familia de Jaqi en Aquixtla y bebo pulque

enojo a un hombre Mexicano cuando me pregunta porque no estoy durmiendo con chicas Mexicanas…
        
         dice “les gustaría un pedazo de gringo”…

sentimiento de tristeza cuando me dice “la gente Mexicana están racistas contra su misma raza”…

“Mexicanos han estados convencidos que la piel güera y cabello rubio son equivalentes a la felecidad, belleza, y riqueza”…

reconocimiento que casi toda la gente en la tele y en películas Mexicanas son güeros

sentimiento de felicidad cuando compro dos cucharas de helado por solo 10 pesos

escuchar el camióneta de gas despertarme cada mañana con su claxon y adverticio “gas central de Apizaco… el gas que rinde más!”

escuchar la molestia de Tío Noé cuando no quiero bajar el tobogán grande por una cuarta vez…

         molestar a Tío Noé que no ha bajado el tobogán una sola vez

escuchar a un migrante habla en el teléfono con su hija que llora y pregunta “¿cuando va a regresar, pápa?”

escuchar el hombre de tamales caminar las calles de Apizaco cada mañana gritando “tamales, atole,…”

sentimiento de tristeza cuando escucho que Ángel (nuestro enfermero amaroso que siempre sierve con una sonrisa en el alberge) se falleció al edad jóven de 29 años

sentido humillante cuando me doy cuenta que Karina – quien no estaba recibiendo sueldo por la falta de fundos en el albergue – usó su propio dinero generosamente para comprar tortas para la 90 personas quien estaban en el albergue cuando acabó la comida

probar los sabores de longaniza, suadero, nopales, cebolla, pico de gallo, salsa verde, and salsa roja corren juntos cuando como tacos campechanos con mis amigos John, Kari and Jaqi …

decir a toda la otra gente en el puesto de tacos que creo que los tacos de Marco, Josefina y Sebastian son los mejores del mundo

ver películas romanticas en Netflix con Mamá Oliva en los anocheceres

admirar los arboles grandes, los vendedores y la tranquilidad del Zócalo de Tlaxcala cuando camino por alla

admirar la hermosura y la historia de Tlaxcala cuando estoy encima de las escalinas

recorder el sonido de cicadas y grillos en Texas, recorder los senderos hermosos por las montañas de Colorado, y admirar la hermosura alrededor de mi mismo cuando corro por el bosque de Tlaxcala

escuchar el voz fuerte de Don Facundo cuando anuncia los precios de su fruta en el mercado…

sentir el amor de la sonrisa de Don Facundo y su grán risa cada Miércoles en el mercado

escuchar el silbo de la olla express cocinando frijoles

escuchar la mujer que vende gelatina me pregunta “¿vas a chambear, güero?” cada mañana cuando entro la estación de bus en Tlaxcala

dar cuenta del enfoce masculino en la Biblía cuando traduce “Lord” en Inglés por “Señor” en Español

escuchar al voz hermoso de nuestra taxista Apizaquense cuando nos da un concierto privado después de preguntar sobre su canto de música Mariachi y Norteña

sentir el afecto de mi hermana Annie cuando me abraza

escuchar Tío Socrates decir en Inglés cuando sale de la casa, “See you tomorrow!” o “See you later!”


Todos estos recuerdos y emociones de mi vida en casa y trabajo en México se mezclan para mí. Todos son momentos determinados de la alegría, la tristeza, la ira, el amor, la paz, o la belleza que me han tocado este año. En una u otra forma, cada uno de estos recuerdos es profundo y sagrado.

Voy a extrañar estos momentos, eventos y recuerdos, y más aún, extrañaré las personas que me hicieron cada uno de estos recuerdos y tantos otros. Lo lamento no estar con estos amigos, familia y seres queridos. Es por estas razones que he omitido la concreción de los períodos y las letras mayúsculas que siguen períodos. Dejando de lado esta definitud sirve como un bálsamo como llego a aceptar el hecho de que este año y la experiencia ha terminado. También, muestra la forma en que estas experiencias sangran uno en el otro y en mi vida después de mi tiempo como un adulto joven en la misión global. Estos momentos me han cambiado. Estos son los recuerdos, los gustos, olores, sonidos, imágenes y sentimientos que voy a llevar conmigo mucho tiempo después de mi tiempo en México ha terminado. Estos son los momentos que vivirá por siempre.