A few years back, I was talking with a homeless guy in an alley downtown, and he started sharing with me about God. He was familiar with the Bible but kept talking about "the Christians" in the third person. A little confused, I finally asked him, "Are you not a Christians?" "Oh no," he said, "I am far too messed up." I asked him what he thought a Christian is, and he said, "Someone who's got their stuff together and has things figured out." I confessed that I must not be a Christian either and that I wasn't sure that I had ever met one. (Claiborne 245)Sometimes we shy away from the church because we feel that we are not worthy. However, we need to recognize that the church is not perfect. In fact, we can see that the church has been messy throughout history. The Apostle Paul was a persecutor and murderer of Christians, and then God made Paul one of the best spokesmen for the Gospel. There is not always a clean and definite switch in behavior as occurred as Paul's conversion. In fact, things are usually much more messy - like David committing adultery and murdering one of his soldiers during his reign as king over Israel. God used David before this incident and continued to use him afterward (what a messy situation). God also used Moses to lead Israel despite the fact that Moses had killed an Egyptian and was a timid man. Furthermore, even after God had consecrated Noah and his family, Noah engaged in debauchery and drunkenness. The point is that the church is messy.
While it is easy to understand that the church is messy, it is hard to accept. In my own life, I have been committed to righteous living and appeared to be on the straight and narrow before slipping up and giving into temptation, or rejecting God's call to love someone else. When these instances occur, I can't help but feel lost. How can the Holy Spirit dwell within me even when I screw up badly? Sometimes I wonder, is the Holy Spirit even within me or have I falsely claimed to be a follower this whole time? Though I doubt at times and fall short, I do believe that I am a follower of Christ. Moreover, being a part of the church does not entitle me to any amount of perfection. I am imperfect and so is the church. The fact of the matter is we can commit ourselves to holiness over and over, we can consecrate ourselves to the Lord, but at the end of the day, our life in this world will still be messy to one extent or another.
While this may seem like a reason to despair, we should find comfort in the fact that we are not alone. We are flawed beings, but so are many of the "heroes" of the Bible. Many people that have answered God's call have fallen short, and thus we should not lose heart when we mess up, fall, and hit bumps in the road. We should realize that our messiness is an invitation into the church, not an exclusion from it. Jesus said, "... It's not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick... I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners" (Matt. 9:12-13). Thus, when we fall short, we should realize our need for Christ's grace and redemption, and the community of the church. Because we are messy people, we belong in the messy church.
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